Mark Kolke
3 min readJan 5, 2022


I want one word. Just one. One. One word, one plain and simple word.

Have you ever searched for something you could never find?

Photo by Mara Ket on Unsplash

That hand-in-glove fit is elusive; when we are not sure if we should keep searching, wait for it to find us, or simply give up — that’s been a long-term conundrum for me.

Whether it’s looking for answers to existential questions or looking for inspiration for one of these daily columns …

It might be the perfect sweater, the right house, a car you’ve simply got to have, the dream vacation, dynamic synergy on the job with colleagues/company/product, being in the right place at the right time, or finding the ideal partner?

Have you ever looked back for guidance or to reminisce?

On this date in 2014, I wrote SEARCH SHOULD BE SIMPLER, ending with this:

I simply need a woman who is good company, a good communicator with strong fingers who loves giving a bald man a scalp massage. And she should like great sex too. And like being cooked for by me. You know, music, candles, and cloth napkins. There, that’s about it. Plain, and simple.

I believe my search is over.

Photo by Austin Chan on Unsplash

Recent weeks have been full of firsts — a great way to enjoy someone new. There will be more firsts, many more, and I’m debating with Hazel what we should call each other. You know, when you introduce someone to your friends and family, or readers, what is the ideal term?

I’d love to have someone provide the perfect suggestion. I’m struggling to find the right word without reading my dictionary from cover to cover.

What should it be?

Partner, pal, boyfriend-girlfriend, etc. — those references seem out of place and not the right fit to describe exploring the planet in search of ‘the one’ to give it an old-fashioned description. Sweety, main-squeeze, honey, babe, etc. … they don’t fit either.

What is the right term, the best word, the correct sentiment?

There must be a hundred common descriptions and probably millions of other ones in every language, but I want the one best to describe this combo of feelings and relationships.

If I had hundreds of words, many paragraphs, I might be able to get it just write …

But I want one word.

Just one.

One. One word, one plain and simple word.



Mark Kolke

Writer ( https://markkolke.substack.com ), speaker, recovered alcoholic, publisher, real estate, advocacy/seniors, empathy/people with disabilities, addictions.